Warning! Vanity (or lack thereof) post! And possibly TMI! Proceed with caution!
Who decided they were farmer's tans? Can't we all just agree to call them people-who-wear-shirts' tans? Or something?
Or nothing? Is the reason we have a name for that kind of tan at all to distinguish those of us who have one from those who have an even tan all over? Because I personally think there should be a name for the all-over kinds of tans, as if they're the funny kind to have. Maybe, like, nudist tans. Or something.
So anyway, I don't spend a lot of time in (or out of) a bathing suit. And I don't pay to have my skin color changed artificially with or without one, either. So, naturally, I have tan lines. And, really, they're not especially becoming when I do wear something that covers less skin. But I'm kind of okay with that.
And when I do decide to wear a swimsuit, It's not necessarily going to be all that pretty, either. Not just because of the tan lines, but because I don't quite look "pretty". As a matter of fact, in recent weeks my weight has inexplicably been fluctuating about 2-4 pounds. When I don't have the extra few pounds I feel almost thinish (by my own, liberal standard, which still doesn't qualify for "pretty in a swimsuit" by any stretch), but on the days that those dear pounds decide to come back for a visit, I become much-less-than thin. They are the exact 2-4 pounds that trigger the ballooning effect that my, we'll just say "lower torso/hip area" suffers from. And I'm still going to put on a swimsuit. And I'm kind of okay with that.
And I have mentioned the veins on my leg. I had planned to never wear shorts again for the rest of my life. But now I realize I was being a bit over dramatic. When it's hot, covering your legs makes no sense no matter how much you don't really want to show them off. Capris are what I go for. And if anyone looks, they will see those lovely green and purple lines, and I apologize for that. But I'm kind of okay with it.
Because, really, I'm not putting on a show. I'm just kind of living, you know? And I know that some people are putting on a show (like the girl I saw today who had put a little too much glowing bronzing cream on her very pushed up, largely exposed, overly tanned breasts). And that's okay. Well, preferably with a little less cleavage, though. But wanting to look good is a good thing. Heck, even I want to look good! But I'm sort of okay with just living the life I love and not worrying too much about how I look while I'm doing it. You know?
I guess "kind of" are the key words... Maybe next year I'll be SO okay with it, I won't even write an entire post about it!
9 comments:
Oh my gosh. I could've written this post. Seriously almost everything you said is something I have experienced/thought/said. Funny. With the exception that I don't tan at all so my veiny legs are just purple and bulgy and plain white.
Also, I think you look really good.
I feel the same way you do! And I always tell myself as I go to the store at night with a black jacket and brown shoes that nobody will care about my fashion faux pas, and if they do, I am sorry that they have to think about my egregious judgment in the fashion department.
I am getting kind of tired of the public fixation on looking perfect, so your post is very very refreshing. I exercise to be fit, but have resigned myself to not being perfect. So I totally get what you are saying here.
I just bought a new swimming suit the other day and didn't hate it, or me. That was a big step for me.
It is only on a vacation that I care about tanning, etc. But I can't lie and say looking good doesnt matter to me. I wish I could say I lost 30 lbs for my health alone, but that would not be true. I love being a size 6!
I live in Hawaii, so swimsuits are a must. And, I've always been heavy. My most recent favorite suit is a swimdress...and I love it! I feel like I'm in a coverup, but fitted underneath... comfortable and functional.
Thanks for your post, at this time of my life, I'm striving for healthy self-acceptance as well. Exercise for fitness not rock hard abs...
I'm definitely okay with Farmer's tans, or Mormon girl tans, as it were. I also have a lovely watchline.
I'm not yet okay with wearing a swimsuit, but of courswe, it's not just 2-4 pounds with me. It's more like 20-40. We'll get there! :) (I still wear a swimsuit, and maybe I'm kind of okay with it.)
I like it when I can get to the "kind of okay" point. That's actually a pretty good head space.
I'm just kind of living, you know?
BRILLIANT. I need to "just live" more. Awesome post, Lisa!
Oh, I am so getting all the veins on my legs... and you know, I'm like you, I'd much rather be cool... I don't care. :)
When I was in college, one of our a Capella groups sang a great song called "Farmer Tan" I'll never forget it:
farmer tan, on his neck and arms
farmer tan, the secret of his charms,
every girl wants a man with a farmer tan.
brown arms
red neck
white chest
the best you've ever seen!
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