No Offense

"He who takes offense when no offense is intended is a fool, and he who takes offense when offense is intended is a greater fool." - Brigham Young

The older I get the more I see the wisdom of this quote. There is never really a good reason for getting offended. Excuses - yes. Reasons - not so much. Today I have two good reasons not to be offended by things that would normally seem a little rude.

First of all: I'm never inviting my blogging friends over to my house. There is a good reason for this, so you should not be offended:

Last night I dreamed that 5 or 6 of you came over to my house. The house was huge and old. The neighborhood was creepy and for some unknown reason there were about ten random relatives (who don't exist in real life but I knew them in the dream) in the same large reception room as I seated my friends in. This made chatting awkward.

But it doesn't matter how awkward talking would have been anyway because NOBODY was talking at all (except for the relatives who were across the room).

Instead, everyone was silently watching me as I balanced on a stool and straightened a painting on the wall (or I believe I was actually hammering something into the wall with a shoe, how dream-like). By the time I realized I had been doing this for many minutes I looked around to find that my blogging friends had left.

Then an hour or two later I found out that one of you had remained and had been sitting silently among the relatives. I only learned this when she got up to leave.

I think this dream comes from two sources. a) I really wish I could go to the Casual Blogger Conference, or more likely just meet up with some of you guys in an even more casual setting, and b) I am very aware that I am not a very conscientious hostess and it obviously weighs on my mind.

So that's why you shouldn't be offended if I never invite you over. That and also because I live a little too far away.

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Normally when someone says they hate you it is at least a little unsettling. I've learned recently to not let it get to me. Here's why:

Recently Aaron started shouting, "I hate!" Whenever he's frustrated. Now hate is not a good thing, but up until recently it was just the expression of frustration, like when David was a little boy and got mad, he would say, "Alcohol!" as if it was a swear word. Same thing with Aaron and the "I hate!"

Recently he started adding nouns at the end. The first time he said, "I hate daddy!" I was a little shocked. Then the next day he said "I hate mommy!" We've been working with him to teach him that this is unkind and makes people sad and to find a different way to express his anger or frustration.

Still, I knew for sure today that I should never take it personally if Aaron ever says he hates me. Before his nap today he said, "I hate Sally!"

Sally is the cute girl car from the movie Cars. When my mom brought toy Mater, Lightning McQueen and Sally for David when she came last week, Aaron immediately fell in love with Sally. He pretty much declared her his own. He takes her everywhere. He definitely doesn't hate Sally.

Sally has been missing for almost 24 hours and he was frustrated that he couldn't have her with him during his nap. That's why he said, "Oh no! I can't find it! I hate Sally!"

And that's why I know "hate" doesn't mean "hate" to Aaron. It means, "oh dear!" (which he also says regularly).

And thus I am coming ever closer to not judging or being offended by people's actions or motives. You just never know why people say or do some things!