Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Who Learned You To Spoke The English?

I wouldn't be surprised if I found out that David, the only native English speaker in his class, is the worst student in English. It's true that he has a hard time formulating complete sentences all in English, but that's no reason for him to perform worse than other students with zero English exposure in his class.

It's also true that he's expected to learn this kind of English.


They are not taught "Do you have. . . ?" at all, or even "I have. . .". Ever. In our house we don't say "Have you got. . .?" very often. Call us crazy.

Still, this is no excuse for this:




At first I just read the last line. "Yes, I haven't"? Come on David!! I laughed a little over it and asked what he was thinking. He explained that they were asking if he had a pet and he doesn't have one! (And yes, I regularly laugh at my children's homework, in case you're wondering.)

Then I looked at the other ones and ran into the color one. Sheesh. I've got a bad cold and that one made me laugh so hard I coughed for three minutes. I also realize that it's probably not actually all that funny.

I wonder if he thought he'd get extra credit for writing it in orange.

Did you notice I wrote "I'VE GOT a bad cold?" I didn't even do it on purpose. Maybe I'm wrong about that one. . .

25 comments:

CaJoh said...

I should do this more often to see if people are paying attention…

My favorite Steak is Chicken.
My favorite Beer is Milk.
My favorite Orange is apple.

He's a genius!

Erin said...

Those is hilarious example. It is so great that kids start a foreign language so early. I wish America would get with the times. David has great cursive! Is he in 3rd grade? I love Polish handwriting.

gramalee said...

Obviously my handsome grandson is completely bored with these exercises. He answers thusly to keep himself and everyone awake. Genius! xo

Barbaloot said...

My favorite orange is blue.

Susan said...

"Have you got" a great kid or what?!

JustRandi said...

LOL!
I bet he's just bored. But you should probably start worrying if he actually starts talking like that.
My favorite spaghetti is chicken.

MelancholySmile said...

I'm with you-- what use is going over a child's homework if you don't spend a few minutes laughing at it? Kids provide the greatest entertainment, and your brilliant young man is quite the star!

Lara said...

The orange thing is cracking me up. I don't know why it struck me so funny, but it did.

Sometimes you just have to wonder just where their minds are when they are supposed to be doing their work. :)

Melanie J said...

Sigh. So you really DO understand my homework angst. Blech.

That Girl said...

Okay, I laughed out loud several times in this post. And remembering some of the English textbooks in Brazil ... WOW.

Sue Q said...

Thank goodness I'm not as strange as I thought! I've been telling people for years that my favorite color is PLAID, and everyone keeps telling me that is not a color! Maybe it is, in Poland!

Funny thing is, the only "language" I learned in grade school was Pidgin English. We used to say "da kine" all the time -- as in, "Do you have a pet?" To which we would answer, "We have da kine dog" which I think was supposed to mean, "that kind of" -- I think. It's weird what an entire civilization can do to a language!

L.T. Elliot said...

I'd imagine the switcharoo from Polish to English is hard. I applaud your little dude. And yes, he should get extra credit for writing it in orange. ;)

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

I taught English in Spain and in China and I always laughed at the text materials. My students wouldn't believe me when I would say, "seriously, no one says this." I feel your son's pain.

Completely unrelated side note: I saw a headline yesterday about Poland's new law for sex offenders. I thought of you (only because of the POLAND part, I assure you) and wondered what you thought about that.

Melissa said...

That is hilarious. And if you think Polish English homework is bad, you should see Japanese English homework. Or Japanese English anything. That will really get you laughing.

Kazzy said...

Maybe if native speakers of other languages sat in on our public school classes teaching German and Spanish they would cringe! Who knows.

But I like David's thinking. He knew what he meant!

JennyMac said...

so funny....but hopefully will also improve. :)

Heidi Ashworth said...

My dad was an English teacher when I was a little girl. As a result, I didn't pay much attention in English b/c I got good grades just by instinct. However, this did catch up with me after a while. Maybe David is laboring under the same delusion I was.

Becky said...

Thanks for the chuckle, David!

Sometimes, when I'm wishing I were British, my language skills go up a notch. Other than that, I haven't thought much about it. No, I haven't.

Nance said...

So funny. The teacher should take advantage of having a native speaker in the class. You've probably blogged about this before, and I've probably read it, but are your kids equally fluent in both languages?

charrette said...

We decided a long time ago not to try to raise our kids bilingual. Sometimes I regret that decision. But this? Yeah, it totally makes me laugh that this is coming from a kid raised in an English-speaking home! And you are adorable! Coughs, laughs, and all!

Melissa Bastow said...

Oh, that's ok. My kids ONLY speak English and they think sentences like, "It doesn't care if you throw that." And "See, it making way super fast with my feet." are perfectly fine. Maybe they'd do better with Polish...

Sebastian said...

you're not wrong Lisa. It's just that you guys say "I've got" in the US but you don't say Have You Got or I haven't got.

You only use the "'ve got" in normal sentences. You're still sane.

The Brits say all that other fancy stuff, though :) Go figure!

Sebastian

Sebastian said...

anyway... I just realized I sound like an idiot. Normal sentences... ghh... ;)

Alexander said...

Great blog very interesting

diecast cars said...

Hello I love your information on this topic ... very interesting and I would like to put more on this article .... it's great that people have engaged to do interesting things to do .... thanks