Tuesday, December 9, 2008

The Stuff Christmas Carols Are Made Of

Every year we put up our tree on the day after Thanksgiving. I love this. Unfortunately it makes it a little tricky to have a real tree, so we rarely do. But I love having the house decorated for so long.

There is one other little thing about putting up the decorations so early. Actually, there are a lot of things. A whole bunch of almost invisible individual things that, when combined together make having decorations up early a bit less pleasant.

Last Christmas we were in the same apartment we'd been in for seven years. There was only a moderate amount of dust there. Or maybe between moderate and heavy. I would remove all the presents from under the tree once or twice a week in order to vacuum up the dust bunnies that had nestled so comfortably around them. I'm trying to remember if I dusted the tree itself. Maybe I did a little here and there with the vacuum, but not much (until it was time to take it down, of course).

We are spending our first Christmas in this house. This excessive-amounts-of-dust producing house. Three days after we decorated I looked around and realized it was time for some dusting, and it wasn't going to be easy with all the tinsel and extra stuff around. I inspected the tree and could already start to see a little dust on its branches. Ask me how excited I was at the prospect of dusting my Christmas tree a couple of times a week. Go ahead. Ask.

I started thinking. If, in three days, the dust is almost visible on the tree, imagine what it will look like in a week! Two weeks! In four weeks for Christmas!! That is absolutely disgu-- WAIT A MINUTE!!

A layer of dust that thick will look almost white. Doesn't everyone dream of a white Christmas? I know I'm dreaming of a white Christmas. Just like the ones I used to know. And I could have it! INSIDE MY HOUSE! And all I would have to do is not dust. This seemed like a small price to pay (hee hee) to have a snow frosted tree for Christmas with none of that fake snow fleeced on it. This is a real, natural alternative*!

Isn't everything today about the real, natural alternative? Isn't it about keeping things simple at Christmas time? Isn't it about having a white Christmas? Then DON'T DUST. Like me.
*I mean it's an alternative to FAKE snow. Nobody wants to fill their homes with the real deal. But you could SAVE MONEY AND ENERGY (another of the things we're aiming for) and turn your thermostat way down, so the dusty snow seems even more like it could be the real thing.Just don't let anyone touch it. Or sneeze by it. Oh. Maybe this isn't the best idea after all.
Okay! I get it! Only dorks dust their Christmas trees! I really never have, as I say but if you saw the amount of dust this house produces. . . I swear you wouldn't think I was such a freak!

27 comments:

Kazzy said...

Way to go "green"/white for the holidays! , myself, am horrible at dusting and find that I only really do it when we are expecting guests. Same with scrubbing floors.

So, we invite people over periodically so that things get done around here!

Erin said...

People dust Christmas trees?! I seriously never have. How do some houses produce more dust than others? I don't get it.

Annette Lyon said...

I'm afraid I wouldn't even notice that my tree needed dusting.

Me plus 3 Hecks said...

Dusting a Christmas tree, Lisa? You seriously need to invest in some tips from a non-cleaner like me: never dust. Ever.

Also, we, too, put up our tree the day after Thanksgiving. And it's always real and always makes it through Christmas, and often (although rather dead by then) all the way through New Year's. So go for real! And leave the dusting for the non-bloggers: they have way more time on their hands. :)

Sue said...

Do you live near a construction zone or something? Your visual made me giggle.

Kaylynn said...

I only dust before I put the decorations up, and after--so that makes it twice a year.

Heidi Ashworth said...

What Kazzy said--exactly! (except our linoleum is this marblish brown color that rarely need scrubbing, either). I am so lucky in that I don't see well and rarely see dust at all so it doesn't bother me, but I am guessing you have a ton of visible dust or you wouldn't be bothered by it either. Crum! My fake tree is 14 years old and doesn't look dirty (at least not to my weak eyes) but when I am done putting it up or down, my hands are pretty darn dirty. I did recently de-dust my fake topiaries that sit on my mantle all year long for close to twenty years, now (I'm so oldddddd!) and that really did look like snow! If you are getting that several times a week, I would pretend that it was part of the Christmas decor, too (or move--Yikes!)

charrette said...

Hahahaha! Now, if you REALLY want it to look flocked, just do a little remodeling. We are STILL cleaning up the drywall dust...and they finished construction in May!

Melanie J said...

You must have superior dust in Poland because here in Beach Town, it always gets mixed with the salt air and forms a weird black grime. And I'm just guessing, but I think that's probably a bad look for a Christmas tree.

McEwens said...

WOW, I have NEVER dusted a tree!! It must be some kinda dusty there... do they sell swiffer dusters there???? Sorry you have to do so much housework!

MelancholySmile said...

I once spent a year living in a two story log cabin. Just tiptoeing around on the second floor would send a flurry of sawdust raining down on those sitting in the kitchen below. That is where I learned to hate dusting! So I'm with you, girl. Don't dust. {of course, this is coming from someone who allowed buckets of the fake stuff to be thrown around the living room just so we could have a 'white christmas' for a day. I'm STILL vacuuming it out of the rug..... }

Moody said...

If dust = a white Christmas, then it's Christmas year round in my house! Woo-hoo! I like the fact that it's a natural alternative!

JustRandi said...

You know, I don't love having my Christmas tree up enough to dust it. That could very well be the deal breaker I've been looking for.

Sue Q said...

Lisa,

Sue Q said...

you

Sue Q said...

crack

Sue Q said...

me

Sue Q said...

up!!!

Sue Q said...

;-)

Becky said...

It's genius!! I'm in!

Melissa said...

I used to dust plants at the MTC for a living. If I'd had to dust Douglas firs, I would have quit. Because dusting anything at 4:00 in the morning is bad enough, but pine trees are way over the line.

Janine said...

love it. flock away!

Heather of the EO said...

I love your humor. What great blog fodder.

I personally can't stand dust bunnies, but I have the same kind of house--never-ending bunnies everywhere. ugh...

they torture me!!! :)

Barbaloot said...

Brilliant! Please keep us posted on how it looks. Perhaps post pictures?

Jen said...

I don't dust. Is that awful? I mean, eventually I do, but it's pretty sad. I do think about it on a regular basis, however, so I hope that counts for something!

And thanks for the award! I got one once before, but couldn't figure out how to put the little award button on my blog (because I'm genius like that). Maybe this time I'll be able to figure it out. Even if I don't, however, I'll still be basking in your compliments for at least a week - maybe more. And yes, you do seem like me in the save-it-for-dessert ideology. I've noticed too.

Thanks again! You rock!

Kimberly said...

Genius. Pure. Genius.

Alison Wonderland said...

I do think you're a freak. And the very idea of dusting one's Christmas tree is completley insane. But we're planning on mudding and taping out sheetrock over the next two weeks. Talk about dust! But it's white so I'm just calling it Christmas decoration.