Okay, someone nominate me for a prize for most creative post title, please. Do you see? It's one of those the first-letter-of-each-word-combines-to-make-the-secret-word things.
Becky asked: Do you have any crazy pregnancy or labor stories? I love hearing about that stuff! (Seriously. I'm weird that way.)
To which I respond a) I'm pretty sure we're all weird that way, which means none of us are weird and b) I am a mother: OF COURSE I HAVE CRAZY PREGNANCY AND LABOR STORIES!!
That's how I respond. And then I elaborate a bit, like this:
Evie was born at the (newly renovated, luxury hotel style) UVRMC in Provo Utah, where I was born twenty-three years earlier. I was induced because she was stressed in the womb. I kept waiting for them to tell me it was time for the epidural. They didn't and finally when I was getting weepy from the pain I asked when they usually give it. The nurse said, "When the mother asks." I really wanted to be brave but it was a whole lot less than comfortable so I got the epidural. After that it was much better. Except she kept not coming. And finally they told me to prepare for a c-section. And I was sad. And Greg gave me a blessing, and then the nurse came in and said, "Woah! What happened! Here she comes!" Then I was happy and my little girl was born and I didn't feel a thing (except the straining and the tightness).
When David was born we were in Mielec but the maternity ward was closed for disinfection, which they preform once or twice a year and must close down the ward for like a week each time, I think. They aren't big on cleanliness at this hospital (I know because I was in there for five days with pre-term labor, until I begged to go home and my doctor said he couldn't stand to see women cry and so let me go home on strict bed rest and I was thinking "how do you get to be the head of the maternity ward and never get used to women's tears?") Since the ward was closed they shipped me by ambulance (no siren, though) to the next nearest hospital about a twenty minute drive away. This is in a very small town. The doctor was great. I learned something there. They don't give any sort of anesthesia before the birth, only a local one right before they stitch you up. Then I learned that it hurts very, very badly to give birth. I also learned that somehow, you magically don't die, no matter how badly you wished you could have.
Then with Aaron, I went to our hospital here in town and re-learned that labor is extremely painful. And I really couldn't handle it. I couldn't. And then, again, I didn't die.
I think having children is magical. Especially because you don't die. (and also because of the children)
I know I didn't really give the stories here, but maybe I will some day. But I would like to tell the story of the ending of a pregnancy that didn't result in a baby, if you know what I mean. And I will, soon, unless you tell me in the comments that that would be disgusting and how could I ever even consider it. To which I respond: because it was one of the biggest adventures of my life.
That's how I respond and then I elaborate a bit. . . if you don't mind?