Thursday, October 23, 2008

Photographic Prophecy Phulphilled

Okay everyone. Remember whose blog this is? Mine. Remember who gets to make up the post titles? I do. I also get to decide if they're awesome or lame. Not you. This one is awesome, so please stop giving it dirty looks (or furrowing your brow at it or rolling your eyes or whatever that is you're doing). (I'm not actually mad at you for thinking it's a dumb title, don't worry.)

Greg scanned all the pictures I wanted for posting on the Soap Opera Sundays. I had him scan an extra one because I felt I really must share. Now don't look down yet. I must explain.

I hate pictures of myself. All those I will be posting in the next little while are no exceptions. I honestly have looked at each one and thought, "I look so weird in this picture." Then I came to a very unfortunate conclusion. That's how I look.

Back in the post about my high school prom, I told you that I couldn't find my pictures from high school anywhere. Well, I found two mixed in with pictures of my post college days (I went to Ricks College and then lived in Provo with BYU students for a year, so they were mixed in with pictures from that year). I'll share one of them with you today.

First, though, you need to understand. I was a babysitter from age 10. I babysat maybe two nights a week from that age up (I really wonder how the Wardle's and the the Henson's are doing these days. I keep hoping one of their kids will end up in Poland on a mission and I'll bump into them at church one Sunday). My senior year of high school I babysat everyday for about 5 hours after school.

When I was getting ready to go to Ricks my mom showed me a major called Professional Preschool Education. It got you a specialized Associate degree (meaning little or no general ed-- I passed the AP tests in the three GE classes I would have had to take, so for me it was all Early Childhood Ed. all the time) that was meant to qualify you to run a preschool, as it gave experience in assisting, teaching, overseeing and managing. I took it. I loved it.

After that I went to Provo and got that job at Head Start that I've mentioned. After that I was a nanny. After that I was a mother's helper. After that I was a mother. Do you see the pattern? No? Oh. I always worked with children.

Not to brag, but I was great with kids. I loved watching them, playing with them, helping them be creative, teaching them, and even disciplining them. There was something about a behavioral challenge that I just loved. Figuring out how to show empathy and still teach the inappropriateness of their actions. Coming up with a suitable distraction or punishment or way to teach an important lesson. Speaking in a way that would command respect and admiration and obedience all at once. Okay, I'm getting way hung up on myself here. But I really loved it, and I think I was above average, which I'm only mentioning because... you'll see why.

I was patient. I don't remember ever feeling angry at any of those kids. I was a bundle of energy. People told me I was going to be an amazing mother. I hoped so.

Then I had my own kids. I was an unbelievably amazing mother when Evie was a baby. After that? Two kids? TOTALLY DIFFERENT STORY. All the things I had been? GONE.

That's why I thought it was so funny when I found this picture. This is from way back when I was babysitting after school my senior year of high school. It was one of my last days before I would leave for Ricks, and I took Anne (sister) along to take some shots of the girls. I think this one shot was totally a prophecy of things to come (as opposed to a prophecy of things that have already happened). It is a revelation of how I would feel once I had my own children. I certainly didn't feel it back then, no matter how much it looks like it. It was a trick of the blinking/posture/gaping mouth or something.





I think this was the day after prom or something, because my lips are dyed red and my fingernails are painted red (which you would see if you clicked on the picture. Which you won't). I don't do red, but I did for prom, with my black dress and shoes.

Besides the fact that I look 11 years old, don't I look like a forty year old mother of 12? I mean bedraggled-ness-wise? Like The Old Woman Who Lived in a Shoe?

* In case you want to see, I posted the other high school picture that I found of me and my friend and Chris and his friend after graduation. You can jump by clicking here.

28 comments:

Heather said...

Now that's how I remember your hair.

Pancake said...

Well, I did it, I clicked on the picture.... and no one really looks sad, you ALL look tired!!!

Amber said...

Lisa, are you trying to tell us that motherhood is not as easy as you thought it would be?! You mean you aren't still a ball of boundless energy just waiting for you kids to ask you to play with them and feed them, and bathe them, and do this, and get that, and so on? Ya know, I never knew what motherhood would be like. I too loved babysitting and did in on a regular basis from age 10 as well. I do remember those good times, but parenting you own kids is definitely not the same thing. I too did a much better job with just 1 child, and then the other two came along and now I can't say anything good about my role as a mom, except that I'm grateful to have my 3 boys. I just hope they all turn out okay. As for your kids, I have no doubt that they'll turn out GREAT!!! :)

Melissa said...

Man, I wish there were a time that I loved kids and thought I was good with them. At least you have that. I babysat a lot but pretty-much hated it, probably because I always got the reprobate kids. You know, the ones that spill bleach on the carpet and paint the walls with Ranch dressing. I must say I like being a mother way more than babysitting! Although I look like you in that picture most of the time.

Randi said...

I'm totally onboard with the red nails and lips. Oo-la-la!

Maybe you were tired from Prom?

Becky said...

You funny thing! You're not weird looking. Though I suppose I can relate - I don't like me in very many pictures, either.

By the way, if you were (are!) great with kids, feel free to brag! I was the girl who, if she'd been beaten into submission and was actually babysitting, took a look at a crying baby or toddler and thought, what am I supposed to do with this thing? Heck, sometimes I still feel that way.

melissabastow said...

Atleast you're not screaming. If it were a picture of my future motherhood, I would probably be yelling at someone. And cleaning up the latest catapult of food off the window or something...

Also - you know that you have that great child rearing self inside of you...somewhere....probably hiding from all of the tantrums and poopy diapers....but I bet you can pull it out on your good days! And atleast you have something to pull from...unlike some of us....ok probably just me.

Andi Kate, Children's Author said...

This picture is hilarious. And I LOVE that you posted it--many others wouldn't be so brave to send it into cyberspace. Kudos, and good luck with the dozen chilluns.

Anonymous said...

Okay, I was starting to twitch a little there. You sounded TOO perfect. I babysat, or rather, worked as a zookeeper for years through middle school, but I was so excited for the day I was old enough to drive and have a minimum wage job so I could do something ELSE. Don't get me wrong, I love kids -- I love to PLAY with kids--but don't ask me to discipline anybody else's children. That part I hated. And I had to deal with some doosy's.

Karen E. said...

So phunny!

Kazzy said...

There aren't too many cute babysitter wanna-bes left in the world! I think you look cute in your picture! And I get the whole pre-motherhood, motherhood thing. Nothing seems hard until you are doing it! Although, since my kids were done like bookends (2 boys, 6 year break, 2 more boys)I had a pretty different experience the second time around.

Kimberly Vanderhorst said...

Oh Lisa, you are so, so hilarious! Thanks for all the giggles - great way to start my day!

I've had that weird photos = I do look like that realization myself. It was a sad day.

Alison Wonderland said...

I love thaqt line about how you always think you look weird and then you realized that's just how you look. I maintain that I don't really look like that, it's just the pictures.

Alison Wonderland said...

Oh and I first read your title as Pornographic Prophecy Phulfilled. I'm gonna be honest, I was intrigued.

Lesley said...

Oh gosh, that's a funny picture! I always think I look weird in photos too. I'm not very photogenic to be sure!

Heather of the EO said...

I was THE babysitter too.

And I think you're cute.

Thank you for the linky love.

Anonymous said...

I work with kids and that's how I feel EVERY DAY. LOL

Melanie Jacobson said...

Ha, ha! That's me today!

That's me most days!

Little GrumpyAngel said...

I think you look really cute in that picture, and I bet you still look pretty cute now in person (you look great in your blog photos) even though you probably feel more worn out than cute. I didn't babysit at all or have early childhood skills training so imagine what a shock to my system being a mom was :-) Let's just say there are pictures of my early motherhood that will never see the light of day let alone make their way to my blog.

Claire said...

Helloooo. I came by your blog for a visit and thought it would be rude not to leave a comment!

I love the pic. It's funny how kids end to just hang off of you.. What's that about? You've got a great blog!

Sheri said...

I have felt the same way, so many times!

Heidi said...

A picture is worth a 1,000 words and this one is no exception. You look just how I feel! Thanks for sharing!

Anne said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anne said...

First of all, fire the photographer. I don't remember that, but I DO remember going with you once while your were nannying and I can't remember why, was that then?

Great prephace for the phunny photo!

Emily said...

Haha, I think you look great!

Yes, you do look like a weary mother.

Emily said...

What kind of shoes are you wearing?

charrette said...

This was my experience exactly...world's greatest babysitter...become a worn-out, impatient why-aren't-i-mary-poppins-any-more mother.

I think the difference is (drumroll please) babysitters and caregivers get a break. They get to go home and recharge their batteries.

There's a lesson in there somewhere for all mothers, I think.

Susan said...

And that is why we are twins. (On the babysitting vs motherhood thing) Only my "I really just look like that" moment was when I got my totally new look at Aunt Catherine's when she cut my hair and my hair DID look totally different, but alas, my face was JUST the same. So disappointing. I just chopped it shorter than ever before and, same thing, the cut's cute, my face is still there...