Tuesday, October 7, 2008

Soap Opera Smonday, or Actually Tuesday

I have a tale to record, as I never wrote it in any journal or anything at the time, and it needs to be remembered for future generations. As it is a memory of dating days (sort of) I thought it would be great to use for Soap Opera Sunday (SOS) hosted this month by 2 hearts at My life in type, but, as you may know, it's not really exactly Sunday, and I wouldn't post this on a Sunday, anyway (as explained in previous post). So I'm posting it now. (Oh, and I'm extremely bugged that I can't find the pictures I wanted to post to help your imaginations along. I searched high and low and in between 8 times each. NO PICTURES!!)

I'm a little embarrassed to take you all back with me to the days I'm slightly ashamed of. High school. Those were the days when people knew Lisa was coming from the other end of the hall because of the extremely loud laugh. It was sort of my signature. One that I hadn't really chosen on purpose, as if I kept trying to sign "Lisa" all swirly and fancy and I accidentally kept marking a big, fat X.

So I had a loud laugh. And I liked laughing then, as I do now. I was a teenager so I laughed more than I meant to around guys that I had a crush on. And it's possible that the laugh was even louder with them. Mr. Crush of the Month might come into class and slide into his desk behind mine and ask, "Did you do the homework?" "HA! haaaaheee." I might respond, before I realized that he hadn't cracked a joke, but asked a serious question that he wanted an answer for. Oops! Okay, I don't remember that specifically happening, but it very well could have, I was that bad.

Chris, whose name I'm not changing and who I'm still in contact with and who I'm considering sending a link to this post and asking him for some explanation, was Mr. Crush of, not the Month, but the Semester! The last semester of my last year of high school. Chris was funny and clever and smart and a tiny bit shy. He was in many of my classes, since we were doing the AP thing and most of the kids in those classes ended up together.

The class that we sat next to each other in was AP Government. About 80% of what was taught in that class went straight over my head. I found it to be enormously boring. I'm a little afraid to admit, looking back, that it was very likely because I was somewhat distracted. I sat next to one of my best friends and Chris and one of his best friends who I also really liked. It was a mini party and I'm not sure that I ever really listened to that teacher. I don't like thinking about that. I prefer to imagine that I was a good, engaged, hard working student. Sometimes I'm grateful for a good imagination.

(insert disappearing picture of a party held for AP Government at our teacher's house, wherein the four of us mentioned above are sitting on a couch with about 10 other people around as well. Chris has his right arm behind me on the couch and his right hand is covering my forehead. I don't get it either.)Here we have Jen, Chris, Roy and me after graduation (and way after prom, of course). We're the ones who sat together in AP Government. We were the party. I was the biggest bawl baby after graduation, and as you can see, my eyes/face gets red and stays that way for an hour or two. It made for excellent graduation shots! Jen also happens to be the friend that came over to have a boyfriends letter translated by Greg, who he went on to ask out. . .

Toward the end of the year Chris and I started to get to know each other better and better. My friends knew about my crush. Heck, the entire school probably could tell by the volume of my laugh around him. Ugh. Anyway, a very good friend of mine who was on the yearbook staff stole a black and white picture of him running hurdles. I think I still have it somewhere.

(insert disappearing picture of hurdle jumping crush here)

So Chris and I started calling each other now and again about homework. I had my own room out behind the garage (detached) with my own bathroom etc. (actually, not etc. it's not like I had my own kitchen or anything, just a bathroom.) I was feeling all independent, and when I was talking on the phone with a boy I really felt grown up. During the course of one of our phone conversations about government, Chris asked me if I was going to prom. I told him I didn't know. He asked why and I said, honestly without trying to be flirty or hinty or anything, "Because no one's asked me." (good one, Lis!) Prom was still pretty far away and I think only the kids who were already spending their senior year completely stuck to another person already had dates. Well, Chris suggested that maybe I should go with him.

Did I die? Thankfully not. Did almost die? I was this close. I said yes, and got off the phone quick so he wouldn't wonder what had happened if I suddenly fainted. I ran into the house to tell my family. We rejoiced. My friends rejoiced as well, even though this presented a number of problems. At school I hung out with my LDS friends and Chris had his very cool, but not very LDS friends (maybe it makes more sense to say that they weren't LDS, as it's sort of an all or nothing thing). Prom was one of those nights where you kinda wanna stick with the friends in your group. We figured we'd work it all out.

A few days later I was talking to my best friend from elementary school whose locker was just across the hall from mine.

(insert disappearing picture of her and I at age 11 sitting in our front yard, facing each other with our feet in the air balancing a ball between us)

She asked if I was going to prom, and with whom. When I told her I was going with Chris she asked, "Really?" and had a strange look on her face. I think she also asked which of us asked the other. I'm not the type that ever worries about making people jealous (not because I'm so callous, but more because why would you be) so I really didn't understand her reaction. (I'm not saying it was jealousy, it may have been confusion--read on)

Well, some of the details are kinda hazy for me since, as I mentioned, I didn't write them down, but within a few days, I think it was, Chris had called me and told me that it might be better if we actually didn't go to prom together. I'm sure he gave me some excuses, but I don't remember them, and I'm not sure I even heard them at the time because, really, I wasn't going with Chris: enough said. I was of course really confused and pretty disappointed, but I was somehow okay with it. I just figured, well, he obviously likes me, on some level, but since asking me to prom has realized that it was a mistake. No biggie. Of course my DH thinks this is such a terrible thing and that I should never have talked to him again, but we were friends, and it was kind of like one of my girlfriends asking me if I wanted to go with her to a movie on Friday night and then calling back later and saying she couldn't actually go. You don't get mad about things like that. (I do realize that it isn't actually the same thing, but similar, sort of.)

About a week later I asked Sarah if she had a date yet. She said yes, and didn't offer any more information until I asked with whom. "Chris." she said. . . then we both realized at the exact same second that we were totally going to be late for our next classes if we didn't RUN to them immediately, in opposite directions.

I never did find out what happened with them, if Chris cancelled with me and then went and asked Sarah. Or maybe while he was "engaged" to go with me, Sarah asked him and that made him realize that he would rather go with her group of sporty friends than with my more conservative ones. (of course I could only think in terms of what group he would be with and not which girl he was choosing. Can we say DENIAL?)

Really, it was so much better for both of us this way. He could do the typical go to a hotel afterwards thing, and I could find someone I would be more comfortable figuring out what to do after prom with. It ended up that my awesome friends and I (there were five of us) all asked our own dates. Three of us asked some excellent boys who were a year younger than us that we knew from seminary. I believe this makes us Awesome.

Actually, my date I had known since we first moved from Utah to California (age 11). His dad was our home teacher and showed up while we were moving in with a loaf of fresh baked bread and a helping hand. Then he became our dentist and his son became my little brother's best friend. We had always liked each other too, in a sort of flirting with/teasing your brother's cute, funny friend/ best friend's older sister sort of way, so I decided to ask him to go with me to prom. Plus, he had a girlfriend from a different ward in our stake so I knew he wouldn't take my proposal the wrong way.

Oh yeah. So he had a girlfriend. Don't worry! I called her up before I ever talked to him and asked if she would mind if I borrowed her boyfriend for a night. I don't think she'd ever been asked that kind of favor, but she was really great about it. HE was a little surprised, however when I asked, so I had to assure him I had permission.

Way too late for a "long story short" here, but to wrap it up quickly, we had a great night. Sarah and I swapped partners for a dance, but we mostly stayed in our separate groups. After the dance we went to my friend's house and had a delicious brunch served to us by her mother. And then we either watched a movie or went home, can't remember.

(insert disappearing pictures of all of us lined up with our dates, one with me and my date by the pool before leaving my house to meet up with the rest of our group, and one under exposed one of my date and I laughing while sitting at our table at prom with our mouths wide open in unattractive, but extremely happy smiles. You can almost hear the laughter in that last one, if you could only see it, but never mind. You can neither see nor hear it)

Later I talked to Sarah about how her date went. We were both really open about it after the initial weirdness wore off. She said that after the dance they went to the hotel and all the girls were in one room and all the guys in another playing some stupid game or something. She basically sat there all night playing cards and said almost everyone agreed it was fairly lame. And I'm pretty sure she wasn't just trying to spare my feelings. :) (she actually went into greater detail, but that is the gist of it)

Moral of the story for my children? Go to formal occasions with people you know you'll be comfortable with. And also, yes, mom was always this socially weird.

23 comments:

Kazzy said...

Awwww. I know it was years ago, but I still feel bad for you. Was there a part of you that was glad the other group had a lame time? LOL Those high school days...sheesh

Veiltender said...

I love reminiscing - clearly, since I do it all the time myself. I'm glad that it wasn't that big of a deal emotionally for you - I think I would have been crushed.

(This is Thora, but my husband is signed in, and I'm lazy and don't want to bother changing accounts).

LisAway said...

I didn't really mention in the post about how I think it's really funny that this happened. It's not like I was a reject in high school or anything(hope nobody from h.s. is reading this, or they may beg to differ!) At the time I thought it was a unique experience, and now I kind of love my whole prom experience, start to finish. I think I learned that it's not always best to get what we think we want.

I would certainly not have gone to the hotel with his group of friends and he would have felt out of place without his friends if we went with mine. (and I never mentioned exactly that I really didn't think he was interested in Sarah as more than a friend either. Pretty positive, actually)

That's right; the post was not long enough, so I have to elaborate in the comments.

Becky said...

Adam and I were talking about prom recently and you know, it seemed like such a huge deal then, but we can barely remember things now. I hope we can get that message across to our kids - high school isn't life, it's just part of it.

Social weirdness aside, I think it says something about how comfortable you were with being you (even in drama-ridden, tumultuous high school land) that it wasn't a big deal that you didn't go to prom with Chris. Kudos!

KC said...

I have to side with your DH here--you certainly handled the situation well, but I would have been so hurt and so angry and I certainly would not still be friends with that guy!

Heather of the EO said...

Oh high school drama. Such fun. I love it that you have such a good attitude about it.

I too had/have a ridiculous laugh--people have always pointed it out. Like I didn't know...

Melissa Bastow said...

If that would have happened to me in high school I probably would have been crushed - because, you know, fragile high school ego. It's great that you took it so well, obviously you were more mature than me. Because I think my actual prom date would have been planned out in more of a revenge, I'll show him, kind of way.

McEwens said...

OH OUCH! That would have been so tough Lisa....

I LOVE BIG LAUGHS!!! I have one myself!!!

Susan said...

I LOVE your laugh! I haven't read back in my HS journals, but when I reread my post mission journal with every detail of everything any guy said to me I enjoyed the memory of guys liking me. Every now and then having your husband say you're beautiful or funny or whatever is kind of like when mom used to say it in HS. Huh, so how is ol' Sarah doing these days? I guess she's not blogging, huh?

Moody said...

I enjoyed reading your post and imagining the photos! LOL I remembering laughing way too loud and way too much around boys I liked too. How embarrassing. I didn't have a prom experience though, I was way too socially inept. Oh, well.

T said...

okay, let's just all heave one collective sigh of relief that High School and its resultant drama is OVER! Wouldn't do it again for a million bucks... a million? hmmm... come to think of it, if someone is really offering, we could probably work something out :)

Marivic_Little GrumpyAngel said...

This post is so fun to read. High school is such an interesting time. I love that you have such a great attitude about things even at an age when most of us were immature. I would have been so mad at the taker-backer boy! I would have been so mad if that happened to my girl.

Lisa, thanks for the encouraging words on my blog. I just don't feel like an Annex calibre writer. I submitted a little poem last week but that's never going to see the light of day. But that's fine.I simply enjoy reading your work and the rest. Maybe eventually I'll get better by osmosis when I've read enough good writers like you :-)

Brillig said...

Hahaha. So awesome. Glad you ended up going with someone you were comfortable with-- think of all the awkward, loud laughing you would have done if you'd been with Chris! :-D

I went to prom with a guy who talked about another guy's date INCESSANTLY. I mean, I knew he wasn't into me and I wasn't into him, but did he really have to drool over the other girl all night? Weird...

I love all the drama! And I'm glad that you and Sarah got over the weirdness too. Boys are NOT worth breaking up friendships!

Krista said...

What a crazy fun (funny) story! Thanks for playing along!

Melanie J said...

Okay, am I the only one who wonders why Chris changed his mind? Go ask him! Please?

Jessica G. said...

Okay, we totally could have been friends in high school! I was the same way...even asked a friend's boyfriend to a dance (with her permission, of course).

And yeah, what does Chris have to say for himself?

Me plus 3 Hecks said...

This was a great story. I have to admit that I usually am on and off the computer pretty quickly, so when the stories are too long (like my last post, for example), I skim. But not this time! Kudos. And sweet, engaging writing style. Me likey.

As for Chris, wha?! I guess it turned out all right, but that shows what different people we are--I wouldn't know how to be friends with him after that.

Annie Valentine said...

I got invited to Senior Prom my sophomore year and was thrilled just to be going. After the dance, he took me home and promptly did a paid arson job which landed him in jail.

Still have the dress and it still fits (I tried it on this week for old times sake. Come on, my husband is gone and I get really bored).

Emiline said...

I'm glad everything worked out. I think you handled it well. Very mature of you not to throw a big fit. I probably would have.

Good story! Brings back some memories.

Alison Wonderland said...

Amazing how self confident you were. He changed his mind and it was no big deal?! I love that, I'm not sure I ever could have felt that (even now) but I love it!

charrette said...

Cute story! I loved the "insert disappearing picture" cues! And your funny injections about the loud laugh throughout.

I had a similar, bittersweet first prom experience. Although, instead of the guy changing his mind or whatever, my best friend asked him! Some friend...it's a wonder we survived that. Ah, those were the days!

Kimberly said...

This is so well written, and made me grin, remembering the social awkwardness of that time. Oooo...I'm wincing now. Ow.

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

This is such a great story. I never went to prom, but here are a few "similarities" with your story:

I did ask a guy, but didn't know he had a girlfriend. So, the answer was no. I should have done my research and asked permission like you.

And I met my husband when he was on a date with my best friend: SARAH. Moral of the story: apparently date swapping goes with the name. :)