Okay, Here's What You Do

I just loved all your comments yesterday.  Who knew that two things that I've been thinking about in the last few days would be of such universal interest!  :)

So here's my brownie diet, from the beginning, because this is Lisa speaking.  In my first two pregnancies (bet those of you who asked me to elaborate never thought I'd start the explanation with "In my first two pregnancies," did you?  Unpredictable.  That's me.) I didn't lose my weight until after I had finished nursing (a year each) and then I just got thin again.  No effort or anything.  Then, during the years before Aaron came along I stayed thin and was exercising and avoiding chocolate and candy etc., right up until I gained that 5 pounds in America after my miscarriage. 

Once I got pregnant with Aaron I started eating chocolate again and stopped exercising.  I lost the five pounds I had gained in America, and didn't actually start gaining weight until my fifth month.  I was thin.  When I brought Aaron home from the hospital I almost looked back to normal (thin normal). Two months after Aaron was born, I was heavier than I'd been (without being pregnant) in eight years.  (!!!)

I was a little scared.  I didn't want to get fat, but I was too lazy to do anything about it.  Then Greg got a three week job in SLC doing translation for the church.  I decided to lose weight while he was gone.  I lost seven pounds in the first two weeks (by eating a heaping pile of veggies and a tiny bit of meat/carbs for each meal, and of course a brownie after dinner because I was being so good all day long) and kept it off.  For many months.  But the last seven or eight pounds weren't going anywhere.  

Finally I realized I needed to do something about it, especially if I want to get pregnant again one of these days.  So I started in on my no chocolate unless it's baked into something and baked stuff only after dinner plan, which I mentioned here on my blog.  After a month or two of that, I realized that it wasn't doing me any good.  So I completely bagged it and started eating dessert in the evening and then snacking on the leftovers all the next day.  After a few weeks of feeling terrible about myself I realized I was thinner than before.  I don't think I've lost more than a few pounds, but, you know how it is when you can feel on various parts of your body that the fat isn't there anymore?  That's how it is.  

Here's what I think happens: I eat brownies for dessert and then some more before bed.  The next morning I accidentally snack on them while I'm getting the kids ready for school and then am not in the mood for breakfast (why would that be?) and snack on some more mid-morning, and it fills me up until I have a late lunch.  Then a few a hours later it's dinner, and then comes dessert and the cycle starts again.  So basically, I am probably eating fewer calories overall.  Also, Aaron finished nursing later than the other kids, and I think my body may just be getting with the program (the losing-the-weight-after-weaning-the-baby program).

This is all really embarrassing and I should NOT be putting it on my  blog, but I hope it will help me to be motivated to be less of a glutton and to take a bit of control of my eating habits.  Still, it's hard, as I say, when I'm feeling thinner all the time, and unfortunately I don't have much less energy or anything, which I should on this kind of diet.  Plus, it's not this bad every day.  And if we have good fruit I'll eat that, too.  See?  Healthy!

Also, it's not always brownies.  I do make other stuff, but lately I've made them at least once a week.  I have spent the last 15 years or so in search of a good homemade brownie recipe (one that is similar to brownies from a mix--I'm one of those).  I have liked many of them, but this recipe is my favorite, by far.  It has kept me from trying out the recipe that Annette was kind enough to share with me.  And it kept me from making anything more interesting and exotic when Nathan was visiting.  I love it because it's one of the best tasting recipes IMO and it is simple and inexpensive to make, (doesn't have pounds and pounds of chocolate to be melted or require 4 different bowls).  I make them using only the pan that I melt the butter in.  Also, instead of the typical cup of butter and four eggs, it's got less of each.  Oh, and they're pretty with a perfect, crackly top. 

There is another kind of brownie that I also make repeatedly.  They're peanut butter brownies, and with some good dark chocolate filling them up, I can't resist them.  I always leave off the ganache because, come on.  I'm all about saving myself some calories and some money, and some effort and some dirty dishes (and plus they don't need it).

Now please feel free to explain why I should NOT eat like this and how bad it is for me.  Scare me out of this terrible cycle!  

And also, I'm not the only one with these backwards tendencies.  Annie wrote about how, to stay thin, she cannot exercise.